Toujours
by lovelovelove22
Summary: Edward and Bella thought that they had forever, until a terminal disease came into their life. With only a year left together, how can they find their forever? And what will Bella do when he's gone? Three-shot story rated M for brief sexual content.
1. Chapter 1

**Can anyone say…two-shot? I can. And I'm doing one because I really like this story idea, but I don't have the time for yet another new story line. So this won't be expanded beyond the two chapters, with the exception of maybe some outtakes later on. I'm going put out a tissue warning right now, because this is going to be sad. It deals with a cancer victim and his girlfriend. I'm doing research to be as accurate as I can possibly be, but I apologize if I'm off mark on several things. **

**As some of you know, I just had a baby so I don't have a whole lot of time on my hands. I'm starting this story on May 18, 2010. Let's see how long it takes me to finish this up. I hope for it to be about 7,000 words all together, but I am going to try and make it as long as possible without dragging things out to much.**

**Like I said before, two chapters. Not sure when I'll get the next one out, but it'll be coming to you eventually.**

……

Bella Swan, July 2010:

"I really don't understand." I whispered, my eyes filling up with tears immediately.

Edward sat across from me, a knit cap covering his bald head. "They're stopping the medication." He repeated, looking down and running his index finger across the smooth surface of the table, drawing little pictures that no one but him could see. He looked up at me, and his green eyes darkened as they met mine. "The doctor…" He licked his dry, cracked lips before continuing. "The doctor said that at this point, it's more about quality of life than quantity. I'm sick, Bella. And I'm not going to get any better."

The finality in his words struck my hard, and a tremor rocked through my body. "You're twenty five years old." I whispered, reaching up to wipe away the tears that were streaming down my face. "You haven't even _lived _your life yet."

"They gave me nine to twelve months. That's something, right? That's plenty of time." Edward said, looking up at me with a crooked smile on his face. I shook my head and leapt up from my chair, running around the table and throwing myself into his arms.

"Don't leave me." I sobbed, pressing my face into his chest. "Please, Edward, I love you!" He felt so frail and breakable, not at all like the Edward I knew. My Edward was strong and happy and beautiful and wasn't sick. But that wasn't my Edward anymore. Now my Edward was going to die, and there was nothing I could do about it.

Edward and I had been high school sweethearts. And before that, we had grown up together and had been inseparable. We had been planning to get married before Edward got the diagnosis two years ago. So we decided to push back our engagement until he got better. And now…that was never going to happen.

"Shh. I'm not leaving you yet." Edward said soothingly, but I could hear the tears in his voice. We sat there at our kitchen table for a long time, holding each other tightly because we really didn't want to let go. "I still want to marry you, Bella." He whispered. "I know…I know that I'll have to leave you eventually, but please marry me. I can't die without having married you." And then he slipped a small velvet box into my hand.

"Of course I'll marry you. I love you." I managed to choke out the words, and Edward took the box back from me. After a moment, I felt him take my left hand in his and I looked down just as he slipped the beautiful ring on my fourth finger. Sobs racked through my body, but I lifted my head up and kissed him. I poured every bit of my love for him into that kiss, knowing that the rest of our time together had to count.

August 2010:

I shifted in my seat, clutching onto Edward's hand. I looked up at him, managing a small smile. "I love you." I said softly.

Edward smiled at me, but I saw the pain and weariness in his eyes. "I love you too." He then looked around the room briefly before looking back at me. "Are you sure you want to do this…here?" Edward asked, gesturing with his free hand. "You know that my mom and Alice…they would love to put together a real wedding for you."

"This is a real wedding." I said softly, looking down at my toenails, which were painted dark midnight blue. "I have a white dress." That was true, I was wearing a simple white eyelet sundress that went down to about three inches above my knee. "You're wearing a tie." This, too, was true. Edward wore a tie the same color as my painted toenails. "I'm a bride and you're a groom. That's a real wedding, Edward."

He was silent for a moment, and I knew exactly what he was doing. "Stop it." I said gently, bringing my hand up to cup the side of his face. "I'm not missing out on anything. This is exactly what I want."

"Okay." Edward murmured, and then I kissed him softly on the lips.

Just when we broke apart, the door in front of us opened. "Mr. Cullen, Miss Swan, we're ready for you." The woman said, smiling at us. We stood up eagerly, still holding hands, and followed her into the next room. The Justice of the Peace was there waiting for us, and my heart started pounding in my chest.

"Are we ready to proceed?" He asked, and Edward and I nodded quickly.

The little ceremony started, and all I could focus on was Edward. The way his hands felt in mine, the way his green eyes smoldered, and the way his lips curled up into a smile. I loved him, and I was going to make every minute of this count.

And when we left the courthouse not long after, I was his wife.

……

"You are so beautiful, Bella. Thank you so much." Edward whispered, and then his lips met mine in a sweet, loving kiss.

"I love you." I said simply, holding him against me as he continued to move gently inside of me. It was sweeter and more perfect that I could have ever imagined. And was all we needed for our wedding night.

September 2010:

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you dear Bella, happy birthday to you!" The off key singing of my new family members made me laugh, and I kissed Edward once on the lips before leaning down and blowing out all of the candles on my cake. Camera lights flashed the entire time, but I didn't care. Still laughing, I kissed Edward again, this time digging my fingers into his upper arms and holding him to me.

"Okay, kids, break it up. It's bad enough that you didn't invite me to your wedding, but there's no way in hell I'm missing out on Bella's birthday because you two can't control yourselves." Alice, Edward's twin sister, interrupted us as she and Edward's mother, Esme, started cutting the cake and dishing out pieces.

Edward pecked me on the lips one last time before pulling away grudgingly, accepting the piece of cake that his mother offered him. I took mine as well and then reached down and took Edward's free hand, placing it on my knee as we started eating. Now that I knew our time was limited, I'd be damned if I wasn't going to get the most out of it. Edward's two sisters, their husbands, and his parents had flown to Chicago to celebrate my birthday, as well as my parents. The mood was dampened slightly because of Edward's recent news, but I was trying to forget about it and enjoy myself, because that is what Edward had asked of me this morning. But I couldn't help but run a countdown in my head. My husband had seven to ten months left of his life, and then he would be leaving me against his will. Several times over the past two months, I had laid awake in bed, wondering if getting married had been a mistake. If Edward hadn't been diagnosed with cancer, we would have gotten married two years ago.

I loved him, without any kind of doubt. But we he was gone, I would be so alone, no matter if we had been married or not. It really didn't change anything.

"Are you alright?" My mother, Renée, sat down next to me, and I glanced over at her before taking a small bite of my cake. Edward, seated on the other side of me, was deep in conversation with his older sister Rosalie.

"Just a little sad." I confessed softly, not wanting Edward to hear me. "I just can't stop thinking…this will be my last birthday with him."

The smile slid off of Renée's face, and she reached over and rubbed my shoulder. "You're strong, Bella. And we'll all be here for you." I nodded, forcing a smile. Renée let the subject drop then, and the conversation flowed to lighter topics once more.

Thankfully, the rest of the party went by quickly, and then all that was left were the presents. Rosalie and her husband Emmet gave me a bottle of Cristal and a Kindle. Alice and her husband Jasper gave me a bouquet of two dozen roses and two boxes of my favorite pastries from a bakery back in Seattle. Esme and Carlisle surprised Edward and I with plane tickets to Seattle so that we could spend Christmas with the family, and my parents gave me a pair of beautiful diamond earrings.

All that was left was my gift from Edward, and he said that he wanted me to open it in private. So after we all said our goodbyes until Christmas time, Edward pulled me into his arms and kissed me.

"Can I open my present from you now?" I asked softly, looking up at my husband. He looked tired. Exhausted, really. And instantly I felt bad. I was supposed to be keeping him calm and happy, but here I was, letting him stay up late and-

"Of course. And stop thinking so much, Bella. I'm fine." Edward admonished, and then he kissed my cheek. "Stay here, I'll be right back." Edward said, and extracted himself from my arms. He left the room and walked into our bedroom, and returned a moment later with a big box in his arms. He set in on the floor in front of me, and then knelt down before me. "I've had this for awhile." Edward muttered, running his hands over the top of the cardboard box. "And I was going to give it to you later…but then I realized that I don't have _later_." His voice cracked slightly, and my heart absolutely went out to him.

I slid off the couch and knelt down next to him, taking his face in my hands. "Can we open it together?" I asked softly, fighting off tears. Edward nodded wordlessly, and he turned his head slightly to kiss my palm. "Come on." I whispered, and we both reached down and opened the box together. It was filled with what looked like totally random odds and ends, but when I continued to look I realized that they were really the odds and ends of our relationship.

"I've been keeping this stuff for a long time." Edward said. He reached into the box, digging towards the bottom and holding something up for me to see. "Do you remember when we were thirteen, and I kissed you in your tree house?" I nodded, my eyes filling with tears. It was true. We had been playing in my tree house after school one day, and I had wondered aloud what it would be like to kiss someone. So Edward had leaned over and kissed me. "This is from your tree house." Edward extended his hand and opened his palm, showing me the small piece tree branch that he held. "I took this home with me that day."

The box was filled with truly beautiful things from our past. My corsage of white roses from when he had taken me to senior prom. Two navy blue graduation caps from our days at UIC. Notes that we passed to each other during our high school biology class. And other entirely random things that meant so much to us. "What's this?" I asked in a hoarse voice, holding up a small scrap of fabric.

Edward blushed for a moment, taking it from me and holding it in his hands. "This is from the very first time we were together." He said, and then I instantly recognized it. It was a piece of a blanket that had sat on my bed at Charlie and Renée's house back in Forks. The first time we had made love, I knew that Edward must have ripped a little corner of that old blanket off after I had fallen asleep and taken it home with him. I bit my lip and continued digging through the box of treasures. My heart nearly stopped when I picked up a little plastic bag that contained a negative pregnancy test. Edward shifted next to me, his hand resting on the small of my back. "What would you have done, if you had been pregnant then?"

_Then_ was seven years ago, when I was eighteen and had just started at UIC. I had been terrified, thinking I was pregnant. Edward had been upset too, but had managed to remain calm while I had panicked. In the end, it had turned out that my period was only late because of stress, and things soon turned back to normal. "I would have kept it." I said honestly. "Would you have stayed with me?"

"Of course. I'll always been with you, Bella." Edward said, his eyes piercing into mine with the most beautiful sincerity.

And then I couldn't hold it in any longer; I started sobbing again and I collapsed into Edward. "Don't leave me, don't leave me, don't leave me." I cried out a mantra, hoping that if I held onto him tightly enough, he wouldn't have to die and leave me without him.

November 2010:

"Bella, stop. I don't even want to consider this. I can't…I can't leave you alone with a baby." Edward said firmly.

I shook my head, sticking to what I wanted. "Edward, I want this. I want a little piece of you, forever. I would be able to do it; you know I would love that baby so much!" I said, trying to make Edward see what I was trying to explain. "Please." I added, and widened my eyes. This wasn't some trivial wish; this was something that I really wanted.

"No." Edward said sharply, slapping his hand down on the tabletop. "I am going to die in five months, Bella. I'm doing to die, trapped in my own body as I slowly waste away. And I refuse to leave my pregnant wife like that." With that, he stood up from the table and stalked away, slamming the door to our bedroom. I sat there at the kitchen table, fuming. Why couldn't he understand? I wanted to have his child while I still could. Even if he couldn't be here with me…I could do it. I wanted a part of him with me always.

After several minutes, Edward reappeared in the kitchen doorway, his arms crossed across his chest and his head hanging. "I don't want to fight with you." He said in a gravelly voice. "I'm sorry I'm being so selfish, but-"

"Wait, how the hell are _you_ the selfish one in this situation?" I interrupted him, honestly confused.

Edward sighed, ambling over to me as he ran both of his hands through his short hair. Sitting down across from me at the table, he looked me straight in the eye. "Trust me, Bella, I'm the one being selfish. I really am against leaving you alone with a newborn baby…but it's more than that. I don't want to…I don't want to miss out on our child's life. I'm jealous that you'll be the one to hold him and read him stories and take him to his first day of kindergarten and teach him how to drive and see him on his wedding day. _I _want those things too. And I know that I can't have them…so I'm being selfish."

I stared at Edward for a long time, my mouth hanging open. "Oh, Edward…" I hesitated again, shaking my head as I reached for his hands. "Baby, you're always going to be here." I whispered. "Right here." I touched my heart, and Edward smiled halfheartedly. "If you are really against it, then I'll let it drop. But if we do have a baby, I swear to you that he or she will know all about you. I'll talk about you every single day if I have to."

"Thank you." Edward whispered. I nodded, holding his hands tightly.

"Does this mean…?"

Edward looked up at me again, his eyes heavy. "If you're sure."

December 2010:

"I'm so sorry, Esme. He's just…he's too sick to travel. I'm taking him to the hospital now. I'm so sorry for ruining everyone's Christmas-"

"Hush, Bella. It's fine, okay? Just take care of Edward and we'll come to Chicago sometime real soon." Esme soothed me over the phone, but I could tell that she was concerned over her son's health. "It'll be alright, honey. We all love you, and send Edward our love as well. Merry Christmas."

I held back tears, sniffling slightly as I pressed my forehead against the cool glass of the window in our bedroom as I said my goodbyes to Esme. Edward hadn't gotten out of bed all morning, even though we were supposed to leave around eight. It was nearly ten now, and when I had checked Edward's temperature at nine, it was 100 degrees. Now, it was 102 degrees and I knew that I needed to get him to the hospital.

"I could have gone." Edward said softly from the bed, but his voice was quiet and hoarse.

"Stop trying to be a hero." I said lightly, still keeping my back to him so he couldn't see my tear filled eyes. "We need to go to the hospital, okay? Can you walk?"Edward nodded, and I quickly took the cool washcloth of his forehead to feel if his fever had gone down or gotten worse. It definitely wasn't much cooler, but at least it wasn't warmer. "Alright, I've got your bag. Let's go." I said softly, and I held onto his arm as he got out of bed, handing him a pair of jeans and a lightweight tee shirt.

After he clumsy dressed himself and put on his winter coat, I hurried him out to the car. On the drive to the hospital, I was so scared that my hands were shaking like crazy. "I'll be fine." Edward's voice was so faint that I had to strain to hear him. "It's just a fever." I nodded wordlessly, although I knew that we both knew it could be so much more than just a fever. Because a fever meant infection, and Edward's cancer ridden body wouldn't be able to handle that for long.

Once we got to the hospital, Edward's doctor saw him immediately. I had to stay out in the waiting room at my wit's end, trying to tell myself that this wasn't the end. He still had four or six months left.

And then it hit me; how little time was actually in four months. That's when I fainted.

……

"Mrs. Cullen." I felt someone gently shaking my shoulder, and I reluctantly peeked my eyes open. I was surprised to see that I was in a hospital room, lying in my own bed. And when I turned my head slightly, I saw that Edward was in the bed next to me, fast asleep. "Mrs. Cullen." The person repeated my name, and I blushed before looking towards the doctor that stood at the foot of my bed. After countless visits to this hospital for Edward, I don't think I've ever seen this doctor around. 

"Yes?" I answered, and then I was struck with a sudden feeling of overwhelming nausea. I started retching and the doctor thrust a bucket under my chin without missing a beat, holding it there until I stopped vomiting. "I'm so sorry." I apologized, blushing bright read. "I think Edward might have gotten me sick…" I waved my hand over to my sleeping husband, and the look on the doctor's face completely changed.

She shook her head slightly, sitting down on the edge of my bed. "No, ma'am, you're not sick." She said gently, patting my leg through the scratchy sheets. "You're pregnant."

…**..**

**Well…what are your thoughts?...I know it's sad, and I'm sorry!**

**The next chapter completing the story should be out sometime in June, but we'll see. Let me know how you liked it and please leave a review.**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here we go for the second part of the story. I'm so glad you guys are enjoying it so far…it's been a real tearjerker already, I know. This chapter has some things that I'm going to been to explain to you.**

**The time is time divided up by months, but some will be shorter than others, such as 'March 2011' later on in the chapter. There isn't a lot of dialogue in that section, but there are only so many things that can be said. This chapter focuses a lot on Bella's life after the fact. I also have to warn you…Bella will be moving on, **_**eventually**_**. Definitely not right away, but she isn't going to be alone forever, and this chapter flashes pretty far into the future. **

…

December 2010 Continued:

"You're pregnant. You're only about a month along now." As the words of the doctor sunk in, I very nearly fainted again. I had wanted this, but suddenly I was terribly aware of the fact that my husband, and the father of my child, was dying. Small sobs erupted from me, and I clutched at the sheets, crying to stop. But I couldn't. I had cried so much over the past few months, you'd think all my tears would be gone. No, the reason for my tears was lying in the bed next to mine, and it wasn't even his fault. There was absolutely nothing in the world anyone could have done to prevent Edward from getting sick. The cancer had started in his blood, leukemia. But now it was spreading to his kidney, bones, and liver, and his doctor thought that his lungs would be next.

I continued to cry, and the nameless doctor continued to try and comfort me to no avail. "This that your husband?" She asked softly, tilting her chin in Edward's direction. I nodded hopelessly, and she got up for a moment and walked across the room, picking up his chart. She flipped through it for a moment, and when she looked back up at me, her eyes were full of pity. "I'm sorry." She said softly. "Would you like to talk about your options?" I shook my head furiously, looking up at the ceiling in disgust instead of at her. "I didn't mean to offend you, Mrs. Cullen. I'm Dr. Weber…would you like something to drink? A bottle of water, perhaps?"

"Sure." I rasped out, and Dr. Weber scurried out of the room, probably relieved to be rid of me. I tried drying my tears on the corner of my sheet, but more just kept falling down my face.

"What's wrong? Why are you in the hospital?" I jumped at the sudden words, and I whipped my head around to see Edward sitting up slightly in his own hospital bed, his eyes heavy with sleep and pain. I started to get up, and Edward protested. "No, no, if you're sick don't get up-" 

I shook my head, still unable to talk thanks to my crying, and stumbled out of my bed and over to Edward's. He moved over, making room for me on the small mattress so that I could climb into the bed with him. "I fainted earlier." I explained, barely managing to get the words out. "And when I woke back up a few minutes ago, a doctor told me that I'm pregnant." I looked up with Edward, and his face was like stone.

"How long until…it's born?" He asked faintly.

"Eight months." I whispered, and Edward's shoulders slumped slightly. And I knew why- the doctors estimated that he had four to sixth months, but it could end up being less than that if something else went wrong.

After a long period of painful utter silence, Edward spoke again, this time with pure conviction and determination laced through his tone. "I'm going to be there." He said, his voice stronger than it had been before. "I have to meet our baby, Bella. I have to."

"I know. And you will, I promise." I said simply, and then I just let myself cry.

March 2011:

The cool feeling of the goopy gel made me shiver slightly, but my gaze on the little screen couldn't be faltered. And then the noise of a soft, constant heartbeat met my ears, and Edward squeezed my hand tightly in his. His promise, the one that he had made after finding out I was pregnant, had not been broken. It had been nine months since the doctors gave Edward the nine to twelve month estimate, and he was still hanging on. As a precaution, he had been cooped up all through the winter, so that his already weak immune system wouldn't be exposed to the flu or a cold that other people carried during the winter. Today was his first time out of the house since early February, and it was for the most wonderful of reasons.

Our baby was four months now, growing inside of me. The bump on my stomach was evidence enough, but it was still wonderfully reassuring to hear our child's heartbeat and she the blurry little image on the screen in front of us. It helped me remember that, despite the fact that Edward had to leave me, I would have a small piece of him with me forever. And I would never forget Edward, and I wouldn't let our child forget him either.

"Did you want to find out the sex of the baby today?" I was startled by the sudden question, which caused me to hesitate.

"Yes, we would." Edward said, his voice rough and hoarse. "Please."

The technician smiled at his politeness, and then looked towards me. "This might be a little uncomfortable, because I'll be pushing a little more on your bladder to try and get a good look at the baby. Just try and relax." She advised, and I simply nodding, taking deep breaths. "Alright…" She moved the wand around on my stomach, pushing down, but I remained relaxed, holding Edward's hand and staring intently at the screen. "There it is!" The technician said, and she pointed to the screen, holding the sonogram wand in place. Edward and I both leaned forward eagerly. "Congratulations, you two. You're going to have a beautiful little baby girl in the beginning of August."

June 2011:

It had officially been one year, and Edward was still with me, hanging on as tightly as he could. Even in the middle of the sweltering heat of summer, he was always cold, because there was practically no fat left on his bones. He couldn't really leave the house anyone, either. We were both dangerously on edge, so close to falling off. He was sick…so sick and miserable and in pain. One of his kidneys was completely shut down, and as the doctors had predicted, his lungs were just getting worse and worse.

I didn't want to try and…prepare him for dying or anything, but I tried to make everything special and comforting. But I was getting bigger now, and it was harder for me to move around so much. And Edward knew that, and we were butting heads over it. Edward wanted me to be off my feet at all times, but I couldn't do that and take care of him at the same time. Our solution came in the form of Carlisle and Esme Cullen.

They arrived in a flurry of designer suitcases and gift bags, and I was unbelievably grateful for them. With them there to help, both Edward and I were able to relax at least at a little while. At the moment, we were both lying in bed, exhausted. It was only four in the morning and we had both been up most of the night, unable to sleep. We were both scared and didn't want to be apart. All night, we just held each other close, taking in each and every detail of each other. I had gotten my entire life to memorize Edward, but I still didn't feel like it was enough.

A year after he was gone, would I still remember the little freckle under his right ear? Or the deep scar that ran down his thumb? Those were the little, insignificant details that I wanted to remember along with all the really important things about my husband.

August 2011:

Edward was in the hospital again. I was only four days away from my due date, and here I was, sitting in the waiting room of the hospital with Esme, Carlisle, Rosalie, Emmet, Alice, and Jasper. Edward had gotten pneumonia, and we all knew that before long, there would be nothing left of Edward. He had made it longer than the doctors had originally thought, but the doctors were now sure that it would only be a matter of time before Edward left us.

He was going in and out of consciousness, but he had already gotten to say goodbye to his sisters and their husbands, as well as his parents. But I hadn't been able to force myself into his hospital room. In fact, I hadn't gotten out of my chair for a few hours now. I had a terrible backache, and although I thought I knew what was coming, I was too afraid to say anything to anyone.

"Bella, are you alright?" Carlisle asked, touching my arm gently.

I nodded, digging my nails into the soft armrest of my chair. "My back hurts." I said through my teeth, and Esme and Carlisle exchanged panicked looks.

"Okay, come on." Carlisle said, standing up and offering me his hand. As I stood up and took his hand, I felt a gush of fluid splash down my legs and heard it hit the floor. Everyone was silent for a moment, and then Carlisle squeezed my hand gently. "Come on, Bella. Your water just broke, and you need to get to a doctor.

…

"I talked to Edward." Esme said lightly, and I looked up at her desperate for information.

"Could he understand...what did he say?" I asked, bracing myself as I felt another contraction wash over my body, causing me to call out and grit my teeth, praying for it to pass.

Finally, it did, and Esme answered my question. "He could hear me." She murmured, wiping the sweat off my brow. "Honey…he told me he didn't know how much longer he could hold on. And said that if…if he was still with us, he wanted you to come down and see him as soon as you could. I really doubt the doctors will let you do that, especially with the baby, though. But don't worry, I will do everything in my power to sneak you into his room. No one should deny a father the chance to meet his daughter." The look in Esme's eyes was fierce, so I stayed silent, agreeing with her. Edward _had_ to meet our daughter.

…

I wished with all my heart that I could have Edward by my side as I pushed and agonized through every painful contraction that overwhelmed me. Esme and Carlisle were in the delivery room with me, and my own parents would be in Chicago by tomorrow morning. I wanted Edward there to hold my hand, to whisper in my ear, and to cut the umbilical cord when I _finally _gave birth to our daughter. Instead, Esme did it for me, while Carlisle watched proudly.

In this most joyous of occasions, I felt like everyone, including me, was falling apart with the absence of Edward. I cradled our daughter in my arms, and more and more tears fell down my face. I had given her a name that Edward and I had agreed on months ago- Charlotte. It suited her perfectly. She was beautiful, and I could already see that she would have Edward's reddish brown hair. I didn't want to let her go.

A half hour after Charlotte's birth, I was sitting in the recovery room, holding my baby in my arms again. Rosalie, Emmet, Alice, and Jasper hadn't been in to see her yet, but there would be time for that later. Right now, I was determined to sneak down to Edward's hospital room with Charlotte. Carlisle was against it, saying that Edward was sick and that he could get Charlotte sick as well. But Esme and I argued with him, knowing that this was the most important thing right now. They needed to meet each other. I had promised Edward, and I would make sure that it happened.

Finally, after whining and a little bit of negotiating, Carlisle helped me sneak out of the maternity ward with Charlotte in my arms. We made our way down the hallway to Edward's room, making sure that none of the nurses caught us. It was late at night, so thankfully the hallways were deserted. I knew that I was taking a risk with Charlotte…but this was something that I had to do.

When we reached Edward's room, Carlisle agreed to wait outside until it was time to take Charlotte back upstairs. I reached up and knocked on the door to Edward's room, and then quickly walked inside and shut the door behind me. I clutched Charlotte tighter to my chest as I saw Edward laying there, sickly and helpless. As quietly as I could, I sat down next to Edward on his hospital bed and took his hand in mine. After a moment or so, he stirred slightly and I squeezed his hand tightly, rearranging Charlotte in my arms so I had a good grip on her.

Edward's eyes, heavily framed by his dark lashes, peeked open groggily. He blinked several times, his eyes adjusting to the dim light of the room. "I had the baby." I whispered to him, reaching up and gently stoking his jaw. Edward blinked a few more times, and then his eyes widened.

"You did?" He croaked out, and I nodded, looking down at the little pink bundle in my arms.

"Her name is Charlotte Gabriella Cullen, and it suits her perfectly. She was seven pounds, two ounces, and she's so perfect-"

Edward cut me off, grasping my hand tightly.

"I…I have to talk…to you about something…first." He was having trouble speaking, and his voice was rough and unfamiliar. But I nodded, leaning closer to him so that I could hear all that he needed to tell me. Unfortunately, I wasn't really ready to hear the things he told me. "You have to promise me…" He took a deep, raspy breath, his green eyes piercing into mine. "That you'll…move on…when you're ready. Don't waste…your life away missing…me." I nodded wordlessly, my eyes filling up with tears that overflowed and ran down my cheeks. "She's beautiful…" He said, his voice so hoarse and raw that it didn't even sound like him anymore.

"I promise." I swore, sniffling and wiping at my eyes." Do you want to hold her?" I asked desperately, adjusting my beautiful baby in my arms. He had to hold her…he and I both knew that this was it.

Edward smiled wearily, shaking his head. "You don't…even have to…ask." He managed, extending his arms out so that he could hold his daughter for the first, and what could possibly be the last, time. He traced the chubby apple of her cheek with his long index finger, closing his eyes blissfully as he did so. "I love…both of you…so much." Edward said, and even more tears spilled down my face.

…

The funeral was on August Eighth, three days after Charlotte's birth.

I didn't know what to do with myself. As I got ready that morning, I stood in front of my bathroom mirror and just…stared. I had expected to cry and feel hurt, but I hadn't expected to feel…not like me. With shaking hands, I managed to apply my makeup; just a touch of waterproof mascara and a dab of moisturizing lip balm. But before I could start taming my long hair into something presentable, I was interrupted by the shrill cry of my baby.

I practically jumped out of my skin, grabbing my robe and quickly shrugging it on as I made my way down the hall towards Charlotte's room. But by the time I got there, Renée was holding Charlotte, rocking her back and forth gently. She glanced over her shoulder when I stumbled into the room, and smiled slightly. "Oh, honey, I've got her. You go and get ready." She said soothingly, and I nodded numbly. I probably shouldn't even be taking care of a baby today, with the way I'm so disconnected from the rest of the world.

But this was to be expected, wasn't it? I had just lost my husband three days ago. I knew that this would be hard, but I hadn't expected it to be like this. It was like someone had punched me in the gut, and I walked around with a terrible feeling of loss hanging over me. There was nothing for me to do but think. And when I thought, all I thought of was him.

The funeral was blissfully short. I held Charlotte the entire time, refusing to let her go. It was amazing how Edward looked more alive, lying there in his casket, than he had three days ago, lying in his hospital bed. With the chemicals in his veins and the natural looking makeup on his face, he looked healthier than he had in years. But it wasn't him. I stood in front of his casket with Charlotte in my arms for what felt like hours at some times and seconds at others.

Eventually, I moved away and took my seat at the front of the church. I listened as the minister spoke, and tearfully accepted hugs from friends, relatives, and even strangers as they made their way past Edward's casket. Some of them cooed over Charlotte, who was asleep in my arms, dressed in a black and purple dress that Alice had bought. But most of them gave their condolences and moved on with their lives in a way that I couldn't.

Charlotte was my reason for living right now, and the reason I was able to keep myself functioning. I would fulfill my promise to Edward to eventually move on…but right now, I wanted nothing more than to focus on my daughter and remember the man that Charlotte and I had both lost.

…

May 2016:

When you have a child, time passes at the speed of light. It had been almost five years, and I was still holding myself together. It was no secret to any of my friends and family that I missed Edward with every passing day, but now I could function like a normal adult. I went back to work when Charlotte started preschool, and unfortunately that meant I had little time to get the grocery shopping done. So here I was on a Friday night, still wearing my heels and skirt from work, and doing my shopping at a grocery store in a strip mall.

And here I was, running into a total stranger with my empty cart as I searched through my purse for my cell phone. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" I exclaimed, pulling my cart back quickly and clapping my hand over my mouth. "Are you alright? I didn't hit you too hard, did I?"

The man held up his hand for a moment, trying to catch his breath, but managed a stunning smile. "I'm fine, ma'am. Wasn't watching where I was going."

"No, it was me, I was looking through my purse and…" I trailed off for a moment, locking eyes with the man. He had deep, dark eyes that seared into mine. There was an undeniable pull and inexplicable attraction between us, which I didn't understand. I had just met this man.

He must have noticed it too, because he hesitated slightly. Then he shook his head and looked down at my left hand. "Married, huh? Well, damn. All the good ones are taken." He said lightly. I smiled slightly for a moment, twisting my wedding band, which I hadn't been able to take off yet, around my finger.

"No, not married. Widowed." I corrected him, and his face instantly fell.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-" He quickly tried to amend himself, but I cut him off, shaking my head.

"It's fine." I assured him. "Why don't we start over…I'm Bella. And you are?" I extended my right hand towards him and smiled brightly, trying to lighten the mood a little bit.

He smiled back, obviously relieved that he hadn't offended me. "Hello, Bella. I'm Jacob. I may be going out on a limb here…but would you like to join me for some coffee?" As he spoke, Jacob gestured over his shoulder towards the coffee place just a few doors down in the strip mall. I hesitated for a moment, which Jacob noticed. "Innocent coffee meeting, I promise." He said, holding up his hands. "I'm not about to push myself on a woman who is obviously still very much in love with her husband."

I managed a small smile then, because it seemed that Jacob honestly understood. I had briefly dated someone about a year ago, his name was Peter, but he had not been able to understand what it had been like for me to lose my husband. In fact, he had expected me to be completely over it, even though it had only been three years at the time. "Actually, coffee sounds great." I said, and let Jacob led the way to the coffee shop. "Thank you." I said, surprised when he held the door open for me. That had been something that only Edward, always the gentleman, had ever done for me. Jacob simply smiled at me, and I smiled back.

"Why don't you just tell me what you want, and I'll order it for you?" He suggested. "And then you can just go and get us a table."

"Oh…alright. Thanks again." I said, mumbling out what I wanted and thanking him yet another time for paying for me.

As I got us a seat in the back, I wondered what in the hell I was doing. Could I honestly be over Edward, just like that? No…I knew I would never really get over Edward; he was the love of my life, of my existence. But when I looked at Jacob, I knew that it was finally the right time for me to move on. I would never forget Edward, and I would never stop loving him, but I did need to find a way to be happy with someone else. I couldn't seclude myself forever, pining for a dead husband that could never return to me.

Jacob approached the table several minutes later, handing me my hot cup of coffee as he sat down across from me. At first, we sipped our drinks in silence, until Jacob cleared his throat, looking at my wedding band. "Do you mind me asking how long it's been?" Jacob asked, and I shook my head, smiling reassuringly at him.

"It's fine." I said for the second time. "It'll be five years in August. He died right after our daughter was born."

His face instantly became pitiful, which I ignored. I didn't need people to feel sorry for me anymore. "I'm sorry." Jacob said, like so many others had, but I could tell that he was sincere. "That must have been hard on you. Was he in the army?"

"No, he had cancer." I explained, unconsciously touching the yellow ribbon pendant that hung around my neck on a delicate silver chain. "We knew it was the end…but it was a true miracle that he managed to hang on until our daughter was born. He wanted to meet her so badly." I said, and then reached up to wipe away a tear that had collected in the corner of my eye.

"He got to, though. That's wonderful. At least she's met her father. My father died before I was born…my mother didn't find out she was pregnant with me until after his funeral." Jacob told me, his voice soft.

I nodded, taking another hasty gulp of my coffee. "I'm sorry…I don't mean to be a downer." I apologized, offering him a weak smile. "It's just that…I still feel some regret for not wanting him to go off his medication. For a long time after he died, I was mad at him for just letting himself wither away over the last months…I tried to make everything special, but-"

"I don't know about your husband, Bella, but I'd personally rather have a few months of wonderful than a whole lifetime of nothing special." Jacob quipped, and I actually smiled. "Sorry…I always spout off little quotes. I'm a junkie for that kind of stuff, so I know a lot of useless sayings and quotes and stuff."

"That's really cool." I said. "I like them."

For a moment, Jacob and I just smiled at each other.

July 2016:

"Where are you going?" Charlotte asked as she laid on my bed, kicking her small feet.

"To dinner." I said, shimmying on my blue dress and quickly doing my makeup in the mirror. "If you promise to be good, I'll bring you some leftovers." I tried bribing her, wanting to make things a little easier on the babysitter. Charlotte had become very attached to me lately, and her teacher at school said that it was probably because she was just now realizing that the other kids in her class _did_ have daddies, and that not all of them had just a mommy. Since then, she's been clingier and has acted out, bless her little soul. "But mommy has to hurry, he's picking me up in a few minutes."

Charlotte sat up rapidly at the mention of a _he_. "Who?" She asked curiously, her green eyes full of curiosity. I hesitated for a moment, sighing. Setting down my tube of lipstick, I walked over to the bed, kneeling on the ground in front of my daughter.

"His name is Jacob." I explained in a soft voice. "He's taking me out to dinner tonight." Charlotte looked at me quizzically, and I wondered how I would be able to put this into terms that she could understand. Before tonight, I hadn't told Charlotte that I had been seeing someone. But now that my feelings for Jacob were growing stronger…I knew it was time. "Jacob is very special to me." I said, touching her soft cheek with my hand. "And I like him a lot."

"Like, or _like_ like?" Charlotte asked immediately, and I stifled a giggle at the innocent, childlike expression.

But Charlotte's face was completely serious, so I answered her honestly. "_Like_ like." I said in a serious voice. "Would you like to meet him, baby? I bet you'll like him too."

"Okay." Charlotte said in a small voice, clamoring off of the bed and wrapping her arms around my waist. "Is he like a daddy?" She asked softly, against my chest, and I winced.

Smoothing her soft brown hair, I shook my head. "No one can replace your daddy, Charlotte, and no one ever will. No one. He'll always be right here, in our hearts." I touched the area above my own heart softly, and I missed Edward unbearably in that moment. "Your daddy…he was special to me in one way, and Jacob is special in another."

"Do you still love my daddy?" Charlotte asked, and I muffled a whimper at her insensitive question. I knew she didn't know what was wrong with her asking that, so I paused for a moment, collecting myself and trying not to cry, before I answered her question.

"Oh, Charlotte…I will _always_ love your daddy. And just because he's in heaven doesn't mean you and I can't love him." The sadness was obvious, laced through my voice, but Charlotte didn't comment on it.

She looked up at me, her little eyebrows furrowed. "But what if you fall in love with Jacob? How can you love him _and_ daddy?" I wince slightly again at her question, pulling her into my arms and into my lap. She didn't understand, and she wanted me to explain it to her, like I always did. But I couldn't exactly do that when I didn't even fully understand.

"You know what, Charlotte? I think that everyone is loved differently. I love your daddy, so, so much, and I always will…but there's a possibility that, someday, I'll love Jacob, too. There are different kinds of love in the world, and there are also different kinds of people. Out of all the people in the world, I think that everyone sees love just a little differently than the next person. But do you know what else? I love you more than anything." I promised, and it was then I realized that I had started crying.

Charlotte was silent, her face buried into my chest. "I love you too." She said finally, but she didn't let go of me. "Tonight, when you're gone, can I watch the tapes of daddy?" She was talking about the countless videos I had of Edward, all put onto DVD's and labeled carefully. There were so many precious moments with Edward that I had filmed, and I knew that Charlotte had only seen bits and pieces of them.

"Of course you can." I promised her, hugging her tightly against me before kissing the top of her head and standing up.

…

**So this chapter ran a lot longer than I originally planned. As a result of this, there will be yet another chapter to this story to tie things up. Please review and let me know what you think. Oh, and if you have questions don't hesitate to ask. I'll be sure to reply!**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	3. Chapter 3

**This is the last chapter. Thanks for reading guys, I really appreciate. And I know this has been a tearjerker, so thanks for getting through it. This chapter is the longest one! Okay, now I apparently have some explaining to do:**

**I chose Jacob to be in this story for a reason. First of all, I usually hate on Jacob's character in all of my stories. I decided making him the nice guy could be a pleasant change of pace. Second, in the original books, while Bella does love Edward more and chooses him, she really did love Jacob in some way. And if you couldn't have Edward, you could probably fall for Jacob later. If you don't like Bella's new love interest as Jacob, pretend his name is Gary or something like that. **

**And yeah, this chapter has a lot of Jacob. But he's a good guy.**

…

July 2016 Continued:

As Charlotte and I walked down the hallway hand in hand, the doorbell rang loudly. "That's probably Jacob." I murmured softly under my breath, and Charlotte only held my hand tighter in response. I made my way to the front door while she continued to cling onto me, and I took a deep breath before I opened the door, my hand tight on the doorknob. Over the past couple of months, Jacob and I have gone out on little casual dates. To the movies or out for dinner, but it was usually pretty easy going. Now that he was meeting my daughter and we were choosing to start defining our relationship, things were becoming more serious between us.

On one hand, I welcomed the chance to move on. But on the other hand, I didn't want to ever make it seem like Edward could be replaced in my heart. So I tried to calm myself down, and then pulled the door open. Jacob stood before me, looking just as handsome as ever. He held out a bouquet of daises out to me, kissing my cheek chastely as he stepped over the threshold of the house. "Bella, you look beautiful." He said, and I felt the familiar blush sweep over my face.

"Thank you. You look great too." I said, smiling widely. "And…thanks for the flowers." I added hurriedly, making Jacob laugh out loud. Charlotte stood behind me, hiding her face and clutching onto the side of my dress. "Charlotte." I said softly, tangling my fingers in her soft hair. She peeked up at me, her cheeks tinged pink. I smiled at her fondly, hoping to calm her down some. "Charlotte, this is Jacob. Why don't you say hello?"

Jacob waved at her and then crouched down, offering his hand to Charlotte with a friendly, amused smile. "Hi, Charlotte. It's nice to meet you." He said formally, making me laugh softly. I gently nudged Charlotte forward, and she smiled sheepishly before shaking hands with Jacob.

"It's nice to meet you too." She said, lisping slightly. Then she hid behind me again. Jacob straightened up, shoving his hands in his pockets and looking around.

"Are you ready to go?" He asked, and I shook my head, shoving my wallet, lipstick, and a pack of tissues into my purse.

"Technically, yes. But we're waiting on the babysitter, and she probably won't be here for another ten minutes or so." I explained. "Why don't you come into the kitchen? I can get you something to drink." Jacob agreed and trailed after Charlotte and I into the kitchen. As I poured us each a cup of lemonade, I turned my head towards Charlotte. "Honey, why don't you show Jacob all the pretty paintings you made for me in preschool?" I suggested, nodding my head over towards the fridge, where all of Charlotte's artwork was proudly displayed.

Charlotte brightened up slightly, glad for a chance to show off her finger-painting skills. I sat down next to Jacob at the kitchen table as she walked over to the fridge and started showing us all of her paintings, telling us what was in each of them and including when she had painted them. As she showed us, Jacob lightly rested his hand on my knee, glancing at me through the corner of his eye to ensure that I was okay with it. I nodded slightly, not taking my eyes off of Charlotte, and smiled softly. This felt good.

When the sitter came, I whispered in her ear and told her where all the videos that Charlotte wanted to watch were. She nodded in understanding, and I knew that I was doing all that I could to remind Charlotte of her father, even when it was hard and caused me pain. I had promised.

…

"Your daughter was adorable." Jacob commented softly, and I smiled in appreciation. He had already mentioned this before, but it meant a lot to me that he got along with Charlotte, considering she was basically my entire life and had been for a long time.

"Thank you. She's been a little difficult lately…but she's amazing." I murmured.

Jacob was silent for a moment, playing with the ends of my hair. We were sitting on his living room couch, and we had just gotten back from our dinner. Jacob had invited me back to his apartment to have coffee and talk, which was exactly what we were doing. "She's been difficult? How so, if you don't mind me asking?" Jacob stilled his moments, letting my long hair slide through his fingers.

"Oh, no, I don't mind." I said, smiling slightly. "Since she's started school…I guess she's figured out that she's the only girl in her class who doesn't have a father. It's just been kind of hard to explain to her why that is, because she doesn't understand it in the slightest." I said, agitation laced in my tone as I let my exasperation get the better of me. "God…it just makes me feel so fucking helpless sometimes." I said angrily, and Jacob gently cupped my cheek in his hand.

"It's okay. You're doing such a wonderful job with her…I can see that already." Jacob said soothingly. I shook my head, tears forming in my eyes. "No, really. Bella, you're a really good mother. Charlotte's a great kid, and you did it all on your own. And I know that she probably wasn't planned, but-"

I shook my head again, cutting him off. "No. After Edward was taken off of his medication, I deliberately got pregnant." I looked up at Jacob, ashamed. "I'm a selfish woman, Jacob. I got pregnant so that I didn't have to let go of my dead husband. I'm…I'm just so messed up." I confessed. "I understand if you want to get the hell away from me. I know I'm ready…but there is still a lot of stuff I'm dealing with still."

Jacob was silent for a moment, and I was afraid that he really did want to get away from me. "I don't want to." He said softly, moving a little closer to me. "Bella, I really like you. And I think you don't give yourself enough credit." And with that, he curled his finger under my chin, tilted my head up, and kissed me softly on the lips.

It felt right.

August 2016:

"Blow out the candles!" Jacob called, and I quickly snapped a picture as Charlotte leaned over and, with Jacob's help, managed to blow out all of the many candles that covered her birthday cake. "Did you make a wish?" Jacob asked, leaning over slightly so that he could look at Charlotte. She nodded, smiling brightly.

Over the past month, Charlotte has warmed up to Jacob a lot. I was a little wary about it at first, wondering if Jacob would really want to stick around long term. But he's been perfect so far, with both Charlotte and I. And all three of us were enjoying spending time together. My parents and Edward's parents had flown to Chicago for Charlotte's birthday, and I had introduced them all to Jacob. They were all a little surprised at first, but eventually Jacob's warm, easy going attitude won them over.

This time of year, this date especially, was a bittersweet time for me. The fact that Edward had died on the same day of our daughter's birth was always hard to stomach, and it was hard to properly maintain my emotions. I have to be happy for my little girl's birthday, but I also have to grieve the death of my husband, remembering all that I had lost and gained at the same time. But this year, Jacob was here in our lives, and that blurred the lines even more.

The rest of the evening was a blur of cake and presents and wrapping paper and Charlotte. She flew around like crazy, driven purely on sugar and caffeine and excitement. We all laughed, Jacob and Esme and Carlisle and Charlie and Renée and I. It was wonderful. But then Charlotte fell asleep on the living room floor, and I knew that the fun was all over. Even Jacob sensed the change- he quickly said that he needed to leave. I walked him to the door, pecking him on the lips and wishing him a good night before making my way back into the living room.

Carlisle had taken Charlotte up to bed, and now everyone was gathered around the unlit fireplace, sitting in silence. I slid into place between Renée and Esme, resting my head on Renée's shoulder as Esme wrapped her arm around my waist. I sat in the middle of the five of us, reveling in the silence.

"I still miss him." I spoke quietly, but my voice still cracked with emotion. "I'm moving on, but still…a day doesn't go by that I don't think about him."

Esme squeezed me gently, staring down at the floor as she bit her bottom lip. "We know, honey. And really, it's a good thing that you're moving on. I know that it must feel like you're betraying Edward…but you're really not. He wanted you to find happiness, for your sake and for Charlotte's too."

"I know." I said, tears forming in my eyes. Renée gently kissed the top of my head, stroking my hair as we all continued to sit in silence.

Two hours and countless tears later, we decided that it was finally time to get some sleep. Carlisle and Esme left to go to their hotel- the modest home Edward and I had bought as a young couple only had two bedrooms and a pull out couch- and Charlie and Renée set up their makeshift as I headed upstairs. I brushed my teeth and washed my face and put my pajamas on, but before I went to bed I made a slight detour.

I stood in the doorway of Charlotte's room, clutching the doorknob in my hand and watching her sleep. She looked peaceful and carefree, and I was jealous of that. She didn't know what it was like to miss Edward, at least not in the way that I missed him. She missed a father figure- a man to play with and look up to and love. She didn't know who her father was, and I felt guilty for robbing her of that experience. Maybe, if I hadn't gotten pregnant before Edward died, I would have settled down with someone else and had children, and those children would get to know their father.

Brushing unshed tears out of my eyes, I made my way through the toy minefield that was Charlotte's room and tucked her in carefully, smoothing down her covers and placing a soft kiss on her temple. I hesitated slightly, but then picked up the picture that rested on Charlotte's bedside table. It was the one and only picture of Edward and Charlotte together, which I had taken in the hospital room during their first and last meeting with a disposable camera. Edward looked sick and frail, but his beauty and love for our daughter was strong and clear and tangible.

I missed him more in that moment than I had in a long time.

October 2016:

"Happy five month anniversary." Jacob stood on my doorstep early in the morning, holding a box of doughnuts and grinning happily.

I blushed, tilting my head up and kissing him softly on the lips before stepping aside so that he could walk into the house. Charlotte sat at the kitchen table, her chin resting in her hands as she stared down at the tabletop. "Jacob brought us doughnuts." I said cheerfully, but she just sighed. Jacob shot me an inquisitive look as he set the box of doughnuts down and then took a seat next to Charlotte at the table. "Oh, Charlotte's not very happy with me this morning." I explained, glancing over my shoulder at my daughter as I fixed Jacob and myself coffee. "I have to work on the night of Halloween, and I can't take her trick-or-treating." I elaborated, and Charlotte pouted even more.

Jacob feigned shock, tweaking Charlotte playfully on the nose. "Come on, Charlotte. So what if your mom can't go? Clouds may come but clouds must go, and they have a silver lining for beyond them all you know the sun is shining!" Jacob sang the rhyme out cheerfully, successfully making Charlotte smile. "What I'm trying to say here, Charlotte, is that there's a silver lining." Jacob said wisely, taping his temple like he was full of wisdom. "If it's okay with your mom, I'll take you trick-or-treating."

He glanced over at me questioningly, and I raised my eyebrows in thought before agreeing. Jacob was amazing with Charlotte, and I trusted him with her. "Sounds good." I conceded, and Charlotte let out a loud whoop, her foul mood out the window until another time. "Why don't I fry us some bacon along with these doughnuts?" I suggested. "Clog our arteries up a bit more?" Jacob chuckled and kissed me on the lips, taking me off guard. We didn't usually show much affection in front of Charlotte. She knew that we 'like liked' each other, but that was about it. But as I watched her reaction, she didn't seem upset or troubled at all. In fact, she was smiling.

So I smiled as well as I turned to the stove and started laying the strips of bacon out of the frying pan. "Do you have to work today?" I asked, glancing over at Jacob as I minded over the bacon. When I looked over at the breakfast table, though, I was taken aback and didn't even pay attention to Jacob's response. Charlotte was happily eating her chocolate long john doughnut and Jacob sat beside her, reading the sports section and sipping on his coffee. It was all so…domesticated. It felt a little wrong, because this was Edward's family, not Jacob's family. Edward should be the one sitting at the table with Charlotte and taking her trick-or-treating and singing her silly songs. On the other hand, my daughter does deserve some type of father figure in her life, and it's nice to actually be happy for once. The past five years have been hectic and painful, and thanks to Jacob some of that pain is lessening.

We ate our breakfast quickly, and then Jacob and I walked Charlotte down to the bus stop. It was just down the driveway, but sometimes I could be unbearably paranoid when it comes to stuff like this. So with our coffee cups in hand, we stood barefoot in the driveway with Charlotte, who was showing Jacob her completed 'homework' which was really just a color by numbers picture. But he oohed and ahhed over it until Charlotte glowed with pride.

"Bye, baby." I kissed Charlotte on the cheek as the school bus approached, and she gave Jacob a big hug before waving and skipping happily onto the school bus. I waved back and watched her take a seat, talking excitedly to whoever she was sitting with.

Jacob and I stood in silence for several moments, until Jacob spoke. "You're really okay with me taking her for Halloween?" He asked.

I glanced up at him, my eyebrows raised. "Of course I am, Jacob. I trust you with her." Jacob nodded, biting his lip as he glanced at me. "What?" I asked softly, and Jacob sighed.

"Bella…I want you to know that I'm here." Jacob said firmly, and I narrowed my eyes.

"Yeah…I know." I said, laughing because that much was obvious.

Jacob laughed to himself, shaking his head and looking down at his cup of coffee. "No, Bella. I mean I'm _here_. I'm in this. I'm all in, and I'm going to give this relationship my all. Bella, over the past five months, I've fallen completely head over heels in love with you."

His confession of love made me stare at him in wonder…and I knew that this was it. _This _was the sign that said I was really ready to move on and have a life with someone other than Edward. Because I loved Jacob too. "I'm in love with you too." I said softly, almost shyly. Jacob grinned and pulled me close to him, kissing me firmly on the lips. "It feels really good to say that." I said against his lips. "Thank you for being so patient with me and treating Charlotte so wonderfully." I added, pulling away from Jacob slightly. "I know I come with a lot of baggage, so thank you for dealing with it all."

"You and Charlotte are worth it, Bella. I never thought that I would be able to handle a kid, especially one that's not mine. But she's amazing, and so are you. I've dated a few other women…but they were so terribly wrong. But then again, I guess that if you want to figure out what's right for you, sometimes it's enough to figure out what's wrong. And I know that you're right for me, and you always will be."

December 2016:

It's true that I've fallen hard and fast for Jacob Black. But I owed it to my daughter to try and explain some things to her, especially now that my relationship with Jacob is moving forward. So on the last day of school before Christmas Break, I take off from work early and go and pick her up. She's excited to see me and runs to the car, smiling widely. Charlotte tossed her bag into the backseat before climbing in herself and quickly buckling her seatbelt. "Mommy! What are you doing here?" she asked happily, and I turned around slightly to smile at her.

"I thought that you and I could go get some ice cream, even though it's wintertime. Sound good?" I asked her as I pulled out of the school's parking lot. Charlotte agreed quickly, and then started telling me all about her day. It was moments like these when I wished I could just quit my job and pick my baby up from school every day- even though that would never work, considering my job was our only income. I listened to Charlotte's chatter the entire drive, and we held hands as we walked into the ice cream store. Charlotte was mesmerized by all the different flavors, and eventually decided on mint chocolate chip while I choose rocky road. "You know, that was your daddy's favorite ice cream flavor." I told Charlotte after I paid for our ice cream and we started walking to an open table. She glanced at me in surprise, still licking at her ice cream cone.

"Really?" She asked, and I nodded my head serenely as we sat down at the table.

We ate our ice cream silently for a minute, and then I decided that I just needed to come out and say it. "Charlotte, you know how Jacob is my boyfriend?" I asked hesitantly.

"Yep." She said easily, not at all fazed.

I nodded, setting my ice cream cup down and taking a deep breath before continuing. "Well, I love Jacob, honey. Very much. And he loves me too. So, we talked things over, and we decided that Jacob would come and live with us, but only if it's okay with you."

Charlotte scrunched up her nose at me and I held my breath, anxiously awaiting her reaction. "He doesn't have to share my room, does he?" Charlotte asked, and I burst out laughing before telling her that no, she wouldn't have to share her bedroom with anyone. "Well…okay." She said with a shrug, and just continued eating her ice cream. Relieved, I dug into my ice cream as well. I knew that Charlotte loved Jacob, but for some reason I had still expected a little resistance from her. Her acceptance of Jacob had taken place fairly quickly, and she now treated him like one of her best friends.

As we finished up our ice cream, I realized that I didn't want our alone time to end. So when we got back into the car, I made a little detour instead of going straight home. "Mommy, where are we?" Charlotte asked curiously as I drove the car through the gates of the cemetery.

"This is the cemetery, sweetie." I explained, heading straight to the spot where Edward was buried. "This is where…where your daddy is." Charlotte was silent, and when I put the car into park and turned around to look at her, Charlotte's eyes were big and wary. "I come here sometimes when I miss your daddy." I added, still looking intently at my daughter. "Do you want to come with me, or do you want to stay in the car?"

"I want to come." Charlotte said quickly, unbuckling her seatbelt and climbing out of her booster seat. I got out of the car and took her hand, walking straight towards the grey tombstone that loamed ahead of us. Charlotte was clinging to me tightly, and I could hear her shallow breathing.

"I should have picked up some flowers or something on the way over." I muttered absentmindedly as we approached the grave that bore Edward's name, date of birth, and date of death. Charlotte and I stood in front of the grave, clutching hands and not speaking. "Sometimes…" I swallowed heavily, blinking tears away. "Sometimes I talk to him. I talk all about you, because I know your daddy would want to know everything about you. He loved you, and he still does."

Charlotte nodded, hugging her arms around herself. Then I knelt down on the cold earth, and Charlotte quickly knelt down beside me. "This is weird." She whispered, and I chuckled slightly, ignoring the big fat tears that were sliding down my face. The cool winter air was stinging my cheeks but I didn't care anymore. Charlotte was leaning against me, her arms wrapped around my waist as we both continued to stare at the tombstone. "We don't have to talk, do we?" She asked, looking nervous.

"No, not if you don't want to." I soothed her, kissing the top of her head, which was covered by a black fleece hat. "We can just sit here and think."

And that's what we did for the next half hour. No words we uttered, we were alone in our thoughts. Eventually, I wiped the tears from my cheeks and stood up, and then leaned down and scooped Charlotte up into my arms. I stood still for another moment, staring at the grave of the man I had loved more than life itself. "Love you." The words fell from my lips effortlessly, and I kissed my fingertips and then touched the top of the tombstone. My heart felt like it was being torn into a million tiny pieces, scattered away so far apart from each other I couldn't even begin to put it all back together. "Let's go home." I said softly to Charlotte, tightly holding her against my body as she clung onto me, burying her face in the crook of my neck. I could feel her warm tears on my neck, and all I could do was hold onto her tighter and pepper the top of her head with soft kisses.

When we got home, Jacob's car was in the driveway, and when we walked inside he was in the kitchen, making dinner. He took one look at Charlotte, who was crying still in my arms, and looked at me with a confused look on his face. I shook my head at him and then took Charlotte upstairs, helping her change into her pajamas and then wiping her face off with a cool washcloth. Then I tucked her into bed early for a little nap before dinner was ready. After I wiped off my own face, I went back downstairs and straight into the kitchen. Jacob was still standing over the stove, and he looked over his shoulder at me when he heard my footsteps.

"Are you okay?" He asked. "What's wrong with Charlotte?" He pulled me into his strong arms for a hug, and I welcomed the comfort eagerly.

"It was just an emotional afternoon." I explained, pressing my cheek up against Jacob's chest. "I picked her up from school and took her out for ice cream to tell her about…you know, about us moving in together. She took it really well, but then I decided to take her by the cemetery and it just got to be a little too much." I took a deep breath, closing my eyes tightly and feeling the warmth that Jacob radiated.

He held me comfortingly, kissing my temple several times and smoothing down my hair. "Better?" He asked after several minutes, and I managed to nod. "That's good. I love you." Jacob said, kissing me sweetly on the lips and then squeezing me one last time and then letting me go.

"Love you too." I said quietly, wiping the last of my tears away with the sleeve of my sweater. "When will dinner be ready?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Hmm…in about half an hour." Jacob said, glancing over at the timer on the stove. "Is Charlotte going to come down for dinner, or is she out for good?"

I shook my head, walking over to the cabinets and pulling out three plates. "No, I'll wake her up before dinner." I said, reaching into the silverware drawer for forks and knives. "Hey…have you by chance changed your mind about going to Washington with us yet?" I asked suddenly, peeking up at Jacob through my long eyelashes as I started to set the table.

He sighed, turning back to the stove. "Bells…I don't know. Won't it just be weird if I came?"

"It would be weirder if you didn't." I said lightly, focusing on straightening the plates and silverware instead of looking at him.

"You know I have no problem with any of them. Your parents are great, and they've been really accepting of me, which I appreciate. But Bella…you really want me to sit through Christmas dinner with your dead husband's family?"

His words were harsh and stung a bit, but I just rubbed my forehead. "Jacob, they understand. They know that it's time for me to move on. They know that Charlotte adores you, and they know that I'm in love with you. What's the problem?"

Jacob sighed in frustration, turning around to face me. "Bella, I understand all that you've gone through, and I understand that you really loved your husband and it's been hard to get over him. And I know that you're not doing it on purpose, but do you realize how much Edward has been shoved in my face?" I was about to protest and yell at him for being so hurtful, but then I realized that it was true. Charlotte and I couldn't help it, but Edward was still a main focus of our lives. "I can't compete with ghosts, Bells." Jacob added softly, staring at me evenly and calmly.

"There's no competition." I managed to say.

"I know, Bella." Jacob said, his shoulders slumping slightly. "I'm sorry for saying all of that. If you think that it will be okay, I'll come with you and Charlotte to Washington for Christmas with the Cullen's and the Swan's."

Christmas 2016:

"You're happy?" Esme spoke, looking up at me from the dishes that we were washing. I nodded honestly, smiling shyly. "That's good. I'm glad. Alice and Carlisle and I…we're trying to move on too, but it looks like you're doing better than we are."

"He made a lot of difference n our lives." I murmured, scrubbing the plate I was washing vigorously. "You like Jacob, right? It means a lot to me that all of you…kind of accept him, you know? He's just really worried about you all thinking that he's trying to replace Edward. He knows that Edward can never be replaced. And so do I." I was speaking quickly, and Esme patted my hand.

She smiled sweetly, her green eyes bright. "We like him, honey. He's helped you and Charlotte a lot, and we love you girls. I know that you love him, and I know that you'll always love my son, too. He was lucky to have you while he could."

I nodded wordlessly, my tears filling up my eyes. "God, Esme, you always make me cry." I joked lightly, dabbing at my eyes with a napkin. Esme laughed ruefully and pulled me into a hug, kissing my cheek.

"I know, honey. I'm sorry." Esme said. "But I'm so happy for you and Jacob and Charlotte. You took Edward's death so hard and you raised that little girl all on your own…you deserve to have all the happiness in the world."

May 2018:

On our two year anniversary, Jacob took me out to a nice dinner. And during that dinner, he gave me a little velvet box.

The ring was beautiful- an extremely light blue diamond adorned with tiny little diamond butterflies, all set on a plain silver band. I said yes immediately, kissing him firmly on the lips.

When we got home from the restaurant Charlotte was already in bed, and we made love well into the early morning. By the time I woke up, it was nearly eleven in the morning and the house was all quiet. Jacob had gone to work and Charlotte had gone to school. I sat up in bed, pulling the sheets around my naked body to shield myself from the cold air. Smiling, I looked down at the ring on my finger. Although I was happy beyond belief to be engaged to Jacob, there was also a cold tug in my heart. Standing up, I pulled the sheets from the bed with me and walked over to my jewelry box. I sifted through it, quickly locating the two rings I was looking for. Tears stung my eyes as I sat back down on the bed, opening my palm and looking at the rings Edward had given me. The engagement ring- a silver band and a large princess cut diamond. And then the wedding band- plain silver on the outside but engraved on the inside, 'Toujours'. French for 'Always'.

Tears stung my eyes and I quickly wiped them away, clutching the two rings tightly in my hand. These rings would always mean so much for me. But now, it was time for me to let go and let myself belong to another man. A part of my heart is always going to belong to Edward, and nothing will ever be able to change that. But now, my life with Jacob as husband and wife was going to begin.

Blinking away the last of my tears, I got up and walked into Charlotte's room, still wrapped in the sheet. I opened her jewelry box and kissed my engagement ring from Edward, closing my eyes as I did so. Then I carefully placed it in Charlotte's jewelry box, making a note to have a talk with her about keeping it safe forever. After doing that, I went back into my bedroom and put my wedding band away in my own jewelry box. The engagement ring would belong to Charlotte, but I would never be able to let go of the wedding band.

I felt…refreshed. So I took a shower and got dressed, pulling my long hair up into a ponytail. I grabbed my cell phone and purse on my way out to the car and left Jacob a quick voicemail telling him that I loved him and that we needed to tell Charlotte our good news when he got home from work. Then I drove straight to the cemetery, my hands clutched tightly around the steering wheel. I slowly made my way to Edward's grave, but quickly sank down to my knees when I did.

"Hi." I whispered, touching my fingers to the engraving of Edward's name on the tombstone. "I miss you so much." I begin, and I felt oddly comfortable. It was like Edward was sitting right next to me; I could feel his presence. "He's a really great guy, Edward. He's…different from you, but he's still wonderful. He adores Charlotte and they're practically best friends. And oh my, Charlotte is so beautiful. She's got your big green eyes and her hair is light brown with just a little bit of red…kind of like yours. She's smart, too. And creative and funny and just…perfect in every sense of the word. I tell her about you…I don't think a day hasn't gone by that she doesn't miss you too. It took a long time for me to be able to move on from you, but when I finally did, I fell hard. He's wonderful, like I said. He's really supportive of me, and pushes me to be and do whatever I want. Jacob understands how I will always love you, and he's not trying to take your place in my heart. Because a piece of me if always going to belong to you, baby." I paused my rambling for a moment, blinking through all the tears in my eyes. "I love you." I cried, giving up and letting myself cry. "I'm getting married to Jacob…but please don't think for one moment that I'll ever forget you or stop loving you."

October 2017:

Edward and I's wedding had been in a courthouse, with no elaborate decorations or a wedding party or anything remotely fancy. My wedding to Jacob was going to be a lot different, I could tell that much already.

I had met his mother and sisters several times before, but now they were visiting us in Chicago and were practically going crazy over wedding planes. His mother, Sarah, was very nice and already treated Charlotte like her own granddaughter. His older sister's, Rebecca and Rachel, were welcoming as well, and they loved dressing Charlotte up and playing with her.

"You've been married before, right?" Rachel asked, flipping through a bridal magazine. "What did you do for that wedding?"

"Edward and I got married in a courthouse in front of a witness and a JOP." I said absentmindedly, not looking up from a different bridal magazine. "We didn't have a ceremony or anything…so none of this wedding planning stuff was necessary. Rachel pursed her lips and just nodded, and I thought she was offended about something until she spoke again. "What does Charlotte think of you and Jake getting married?"

I smiled, brushing a piece of my hair back behind my ear. "She was actually really excited. She loves Jacob, but I was still a little worried about how she would react. But Charlotte is really excited." I said honestly. Rebecca smiled at me from the other side of the table, her expression happy. Out of Jacob's sister, Rebecca and I were closer. She lived in St. Louis while Rachel and Sarah both lived in California, so Rebecca had visited us on more occasions and she and I had developed a friendship.

The four of us continued to look through catalogs and magazines for a little while, until Rachel suddenly gasped and her face lit up. "Oh, Bella, that's the dress!" She said excitedly, thrusting her magazine out towards me. I laughed at her antics and picked up the magazine. My eyes were immediately drawn to the dress- it was simple white and strapless with a slightly full skirt. It was completely plain with the exception dark red rosettes in the top right corner of the top, and the same rosettes snaked around from the side of the waist to the middle of the skirt. It was beautiful **(And the visual is available on my profile under 'TOUJOURS Extra's') **and exactly what I wanted.

March 2018:

Our wedding was everything that I wanted it to be. It was sweet and romantic and full of love. Carlisle and Esme came, along with Rosalie, Emmet, Alice, and Jasper. They had been so supportive of me through this entire ordeal, and now it was coming to a close. Somehow, I had managed to find happiness again after Edward was torn out of my life. Jacob was filling that hole in my life; making me feel loved and happy again.

Charlotte was our flower girl, and Rachel and Rebecca were the bridesmaids. The guests were limited to family and close friends, and it was intimate and beautiful. When Jacob slid the ring on my finger, my heart nearly burst with love and adoration.

The reception was as much of a blur as the ceremony; we danced and ate and laughed and loved. Charlotte stayed close to Jacob and I the entire evening, her cheeks flushed pink with excitement.

It was perfect.

August 2020:

"Thank you." I murmured the words softly as Jacob helped me out of the car, holding my hand as we walked slowly through the grass. "Are you sure you're okay with this?" I asked worriedly, and Jacob nodded wordlessly. "Okay." I breathed out, and then stepped right up to Edward's grave, setting the arrangement of flowers down carefully.

Jacob spread out the small blanket for me and I sat down, crossing my legs. Jacob sat down next to me, clearing his throat and resting his hand on my stomach, swollen and large with his child. Our first child together.

"Hi, love." I whispered softly, and Jacob tensed slightly next to me when I spoke. "I still miss you. I've moved on…Jacob and I got married two years ago, but even though I love Jacob so much, that little piece of me that will always belong to you aches every single day. Charlotte is doing great. She loves school and she loves her friends…and she asks about you a lot. She's so curious, and I tell her everything I can about you." I paused, glancing over at Jacob to make sure he was still okay. He looked fine; calm and thoughtful. "Sometimes I'll be at the store or at work or something and I'll hear your voice. It's ridiculous…I always whip around in desperate search of you, and I'm always just reminded that you'll never be able to speak another word to me." My voice cracked slightly, and I took a deep breath. "Jacob and I are having a baby. We bought a new house. Things are changing." I stopped then, overcome with tears.

Jacob held me close, rubbing my stomach gently. "Edward, I've never even met you but I know that you're a good person." Jacob spoke up, surprising me. "You had Bella first…and I'm sure you shaped a part of the amazingly sweet and wonderful person that she is today. So thank you for that."

I hugged Jacob tightly and wiped at my eyes. We both stood up, but before we walked away I kissed my finger tips and touched the cool marble of Edward's tombstone. "I love you, baby. Always."

…

**Aww…the end. Thank you so much for reading, and please make sure to review.**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


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